“There is no going back, to that other person, that other place. This thing, this stranger, she is all you are now.”
— Erica, portrayed by Jodie Foster in The Brave One

Alicia Christian “Jodie” Foster was born on November 19, 1962, in Los Angeles, California. She is an American actress, producer, and director. Personally, I’ve enjoyed many of her films—Taxi Driver (1976), where she was just a teenager, and The Silence of the Lambs, in which she portrayed the unforgettable Clarice Starling.

While she’s had many notable roles, I found it profoundly meaningful that she played Erica in The Brave One. It’s not just because that happens to be my name. I won’t spoil the movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but the film was incredibly powerful to me. In fact, I’ve chosen to quote the final line of the movie because it speaks volumes.

“There is no going back…”

No, there isn’t. But trauma often traps us in the past we relive experiences, feelings, memories, and moments that haunt us.

“To that other person, that other place…”

We long to return to a different version of ourselves the one from before. Before that day. Before those things. But for some of us, there are too many “before’s.” Too many “happenings.” And so, we dissect them, over and over, trying to understand, to find meaning, maybe even to rewind time.

“This thing, this stranger, she is all you are now.”

Sometimes, I don’t recognize the woman in the mirror. I see old videos, photos, and posts from before and the “after” is undeniable. This is me now. And sometimes, I feel like a stranger to myself. She this version of me is all I am now.

But I fight like hell every single day to shift my point of view, to make peace with who I’ve become. No one tells you at least not right away that you will have to grieve yourself. The version of you that no longer exists.

We all change. That’s part of life. But trauma changes you in ways that echo through time. All we can do is try to be strong, pick ourselves back up, and carry on.